the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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