He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize