I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize