She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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