we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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