when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize