I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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