I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize