Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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