He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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