There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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