he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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