Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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