Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize