quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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