Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize