Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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