you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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