mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize