Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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