I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
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You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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