We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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