I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize