I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
In America we eat man semen.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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