Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize