I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize