just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize