Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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