So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize