hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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