Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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