Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize