I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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