Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize