im six kinds of drunk right now
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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