i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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