Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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