Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize