I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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