It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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