I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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