yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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