That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize