i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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