In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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