you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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