Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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