Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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