Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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