we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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